Don’t get married, it’s a trap.
I’ve read that somewhere years ago, when I was still not married but happily attached. I thought it was simply just a statement from someone regretting he got married. Yes, I thought it’s from a man. Pardon me but I am sometimes sexist. I have always thought married men regret getting married at some point in their married lives intertwined in the complications of bringing up himself and his entire family. Going back to the statement, I honestly find it funny realizing somehow that it’s actually making sense to me in so many ways I can think of. I just got married recently and things are quite changing so slow and so fast at the same time. I couldn’t quite decipher how events have been folding into different places and different faces and they have somehow caught me off guard. The change of residence, the shift of career, the perhaps temporary cut off from the corporate world, the dilemma of what to do next, the anxiety of starting on our own, the worry whether business would exactly kick off the way I have always imagined, the list goes on and as much as I want to be really specific and continue to enumerate more pressing matters that bother me, all these thoughts just boils down to one thing: changes. I think I have overestimated myself because I thought I was used to changes. After all, I have been adept to so many changes I have encountered. But just now I realized that changes I have made and decided prior to getting married were all part of my deliberations and mine alone. I was independent. And I guess I was used to the changes that I alone have created. This time however, changes I am encountering are the ones my husband and I have both agreed to. And even I couldn’t believe it myself that a considerable part of my thoughts seems a little bit hesitant to adjust. Perhaps I have fears and worries. And before all these negativities eat me up, I am acknowledging them now as merely being a part of my human flaws. Yes I fear things won’t turn out so well. I fear I won’t be able to get back to the corporate world. I fear that if I start my own, I wouldn’t have enough clients. I fear failure and errors in my outputs. I fear I won’t be making a legacy. I fear a lot more than I can think of and write. And while those fears exist both in my conscious and subconscious thoughts, I am also very well aware that God’s omnipresence and omniscience will always be tremendously and boldly greater than them. Ironic, I know, but also inevitable. God’s leading will always be greatest. God’s timing will always be perfect. God’s blessing will always be the best.
Don’t get married, it’s a trap.
Of course not. It’s always a matter of perspective. It’s always about how you see things. I see things now in so many uncertainties but I know giving up is not an option. God led me here and I know He’ll help me get through it. He will send people on the way to let me know that I am deeply loved, that He is always helping me and that I am also in one way or another a help He wants to send to those in need. Marriage is not a trap. It’s another magically real world full of possibilities. It is love in the most corporeal form. God’s divine love perfectly etched in the husband and wife interwoven in the thread of the covenant. It is my greatest treasure, it will always be.
Nutter Tutter 